Time to take a second look at some more heroes who needed help. Ok, so maybe the superpower isn't so bad--but that name...it's got to go. For Part 2, here are a few more folks that might not have gotten ripped in powers, but they should have put a little more thought into their name.
He's supposed to be the new Abomination, but for some reason this blue guy goes by "A-Bomb".
In reality, he's Rick Jones, but for some reason he's become this big blue monster guy. Somehow the same accident that gave us a Red Hulk (pretty cool) gave us this cerulean freak.
What was so wrong with the name "Abomination" anyway? And who in the world thought A-Bomb would be better?
To this day, I'm still not sure what "D-Man" stands for. I think it was "Demolition Man", but it's never been clear. At any rate, his costume is supposed to be a rip-off of Daredevil and Wolverine, and was acknowledged to be that because the guy was a fan of both. So why did he end up in Captain America comics for the most part? Go figure.
Batroc the Leaper
Holy crap! I mean, I know the guy is French and all, but I hear this name and picture some guy skipping through a flower bed somewhere. He's supposed to be an expert in Savate, so why not Batroc the Fighter, or Batroc the Kicker (though that seems like a football star, I guess). Any way you look at it, I remain confused.
I think a better name for him would be "Batroc the Loser", since he's never seemed to win a single fight he's been in since his creation. Let's be honest: he could team with Pepe Le Pew and stand a better chance of winning that he would fighting solo anymore.
No super powers, and he names himself after one of the more helpless members of the amphibian (I think) world.
So you'd think he could leap really high. You'd be wrong.
You'd think he could possibly swim really fast. Wrong again.
Does he make a chirping noise at night? Possibly, but probably not.
Nope, he's Frog Man for some unknown reason. He tried to join the Defenders, but got laughed out. He's shown up from time to time in Spider-Man's books, but not that often.
Yes, when you are alone in a dark alley, your heart will skip a beat in fear when you hear someone scream, "Oh no! It's the Walrus!" Nevertheless, Hubert Carpenter took on the role of the Walrus. He hasn't been seen in a very long time, but he fought the Defenders once (only to be defeated by Frog Man, who wasn't even good enough to be considered for joining the team).
Correct me if I'm wrong, but a walrus is a big, slow animal on land. How did this seem a bright idea? Still, it seems he was actually created more as a comic relief than anything else, so we'll let this one slide.
Ok, so this was a Howard the Duck villain, so there's not much to add to that. A security guard gets zapped by a turnip from outer space and becomes this super-hero guy. His jealousy over Howard getting Beverly's (his former roommate) love sends him on a killing rampage, but Howard manages to save the day.
The guy was only around for one issue and hasn't been seen since, but you can't make him go away, Marvel. You did it! You know you did!
Coming next week, a post so big it had to be split into 3! Get ready, as we take a 3-part long, hard look at heroes on television!