Monday, January 10, 2011

The Return of Stupid Super Powers!

Oh man, we've talked about this before, but I think it's time we hit it once more. There are so many cool powers out there, but then there are so many heroes who just got the short end of the stick and ended up pretty much useless. Here are a few more of them...

1. The Atom

Let's be honest, throughout the old JLA comic books, this guy appeared in the meetings in a two-inch-high chair. He can get small, and that's it.

Grab any of the "Showcase Presents" JLA volumes and see if you can find where he came in handy. Oh, he punched a villain here and there, but not much else. Don't get me wrong, I like the hero, but he's pretty much a specialty-situation kind of hero.

2. Aquaman

Yes, he can swim really fast, and yes he can talk to fish...but how much help is that for routine JLA missions?

Aquaman is that one type of character you feel bad for. You know there's something really cool about them just waiting to be brought out, but no one has found a way to do it yet. They've cut off his hand and replaced it with a hook and/or water hand, then replaced him altogether, then brought him back from the dead. And still, it's hard to find any real use for him as a constant member of a team.

Aliens are attacking and the JLA must race into space to stop them. Superman turns to Aquaman and says, "Um, Arthur, you can sit this one out." To which he replies, "Oh man, again?"

3. Max Damage

You are formerly the world's worst supervillain and now you are trying to turn over a new leaf to become a good guy. Your power is that you become invulnerable the longer you stay awake. Nothing can hurt you if you can stay awake long enough.

The downside? You lose any sense of feeling in your body after one hour of being awake.

So you don't feel anything at all...nothing...for the entire time you're awake after that first hour. Are you hot? Who knows? No holding hands with your girlfriend or anything like that because you might accidentally crush her hand. This is a super power that would be cool to have, but the downside would really outweigh the coolness factor. By the way, if you're not reading Incorruptible, you should pick it up.

4. Ragdoll

The guy is triple-jointed and crazy. He's a member of the Secret Six with Catman, Deadshot, and Bane, and all he can do is bend around a lot. That is all.

Granted, he does bring that wild and crazy edge to an already-nuts team (and he tried to kill the Mad Hatter just because he wanted to be the only crazy one on the team), but that's really not a lot to work with.

Again, this is one of those characters I like to read about, but let's be honest here...powerful he ain't.

By the way, if you'd like to be a guest writer on this blog, send me a message to comicsincrisis(at)yahoo . com . My full-time work schedule and Khris's college schedule keep us pretty busy and we'll take all the help we can get!

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