Worst Kept Secret Identities

One of my readers (Kermyt) suggested this one, and I thought it might be fun to look into. We know how most heroes guard their secret identities to protect their families, but let's be honest: there are those heroes who do a really poor job of it. Submitted for your approval, these are the heroes who did a really poor job of keeping their secret identities secret.

Green Arrow/Oliver Queen

Ok, so this one took a while before it got out, but now it's pretty much public knowledge. Of course, considering the little flippy goatee thing was pretty much a dead giveaway long before he acknowledged the fact that he was Oliver Queen says a lot about how well the folks around him paid attention to details.

Yes, my question becomes "Why wear the mask if everyone already knows who you are?".

Do you think folks feel a little strange around the hero who still wears the mask when he's around? "Um, are we supposed to call him Green Arrow or Oliver? And are we supposed to act like that little mask is still fooling us?"

The Flash/Wally West

This one is freaky weird simply because of the turns it has taken over the years. He's Kid Flash, then he becomes the Flash, then everyone finds out who he is, then the Spectre comes along and makes everyone forget who he is (including Wally himself), then he gets his memory back and gives up his identity yet again.

When an almost-omnipotent being wipes the slate clean for you, we like to call that a "cop out" in comics (cough, cough, Spider-Man, cough cough). At least DC had the decency to make it interesting by letting even Wally forget he was a hero. But then it's a pretty dumb move to go back and let everyone know who you are again after you find out.

Villains have come after his wife, and problems have come on his kids thanks to his indiscretions. Here's hoping Wally has finally found peace now that Barry Allen will be wearing the red suit.

Batman

Ok, so this one wasn't really public knowledge to the whole world, but you've got to admit a whole lot of folks knew who he was. Not counting sidekicks like Robin(s), Nightwing, Batgirl, and Azrael, we had Talia, the daughter of his greatest enemy (and his baby mama). Catwoman finally figured it all out, Ra's Al Ghul got in there too. Bane and Hugo Strange knew who he was before it was conveniently wiped from their memories. The Riddler figured it out before having a problem with his memory that currently has him forgetting it again.

To get modern, let's not forget this Jezebel chick who recently messed him up but good, along with the Black Glove group of baddies who tried to drive him crazy.

So let's look at who hasn't figured it out yet: Commissioner Gordon. The cop. The detective. The man leading the investigative force of Gotham City. Actually, he probably figured it out years ago, but if you've got someone willing to face the super-villains for you, you go along with the charade.

Spider-Man

Now this one is strange. Despite the fact that many other heroes have had their secret identities exposed with few repercussions, Peter's fear was what would happen to his family when the world found out...and he still told everyone who he was.

And what happened? Sure enough, they went after his wife and indestructible aunt. And again, even after everyone knew who he was, he still put on the red suit and mask and fought crime as Spider-Man--with folks calling him "Peter".

Fortunately for Marvel, there was enough pot floating around the conference room one day to motivate some writers to say "Hey, let's just let the Spectre clean it all up like he did for the Flash!"

"Wait, is he one of our characters? I don't think he's ours."

"I don't know. I can't keep up with all this crap. What publisher am I working for this week? Oh yeah, Marvel. Well, who can we use instead?"

"The devil if I know."

"The devil it is! Let's get Mephisto in those pages and give him powers he's never had before! Folks will eat it up like candy!"

And the rest is history.

Daredevil/Matt Murdock

Here's another one the Kingpin went after when the secret came out. How many times has his secret been blown? Twice, to my knowledge. And yet, despite the odds, people keep forgetting he's Daredevil.

Prove it in court, prove it with pictures, prove it with witnesses, send him to prison over it, and all we need is someone else to wear the suit for a while and suddenly everyone's thinking, "Hey, Matt can't be Daredevil cause Matt's in prison and there's Daredevil on the roof!"

"Um, couldn't someone else be wearing the suit?"

"No way! They'd never do that! Besides, who else could jump around like that and swing on a rope?"

"Spider-Man, Batman, the Blue Beetle...even Tarzan, for crying out loud!"

"Nope. That's the real Daredevil!"

"Well, ok then, we were wrong. Let's get Matt out here again."

And so it goes...


On Monday, we're taking a look at the very first official "What If?" story...but it wasn't from Marvel Comics! Join us Monday as we look at where it appears Marvel got their inspiration for the series.

Dark Avengers #1 - Marvel sends in the replacements!

Since the mysterious cover made its appearance months ago in the Secret Invasion comics, folks have been speculating about exactly who each of those heroes on the cover is supposed to be. I mean, it's obvious who some of them are, but the question is: why would they have suddenly turned and joined Osborn's group?

The answer is here, and it's not really a surprise. Marvel is just re-using the basis for their Thunderbolts series with a little tweak here and there. Sentry and Ares are there from Mighty Avengers, but the rest are villainous replacements (thus the name "Dark" Avengers). Now, who they have in which costume is where the fun begins!

I have to admit this issue leads us toward some interesting confrontations ahead. The identity of the Iron Patriot will probably come as a surprise to no one, but the others might bring a smile to your face as you consider the possibilities of what will happen when the originals tangle with the replacements.

I haven't enjoyed the first issue of a series this much in a long time. I thought Marvel would have a hard time keeping the momentum from Secret Invasion, but this looks like it will be enough to keep them moving for a while. My only concern is that they don't use this to eventually lead everything back to the status quo again. The Marvel Universe is really shook up right now, and I think that's a great thing.

7 Things I Miss About the Bronze Age of Comics

I talked about my Silver Age favorites before, but the Bronze Age of Comics is when I was actually old enough to start buying comics and enjoying them. I became a comic book fan in 1974 at the age of 5, and stayed with it for decades afterward.

Respectfully, here are seven reasons why the Bronze Age of Comics remains my favorite (by the way, I know I said there would only be 6, but I remembered another):

1. George Perez ruled the Justice League and the Teen Titans

This was what I consider the golden years of the JLA. Perez treated the characters like each was supposed to be a masterpiece, and they came out as such. The costumes were cool, the colors were bright, the stories made sense and usually ended within 3 issues of the start. This was a time when those particular comics were an exciting adventure.

Over the years the JLA title has undergone a lot of changes (and even cancellation at one point), but these were the stories that used the characters to their fullest potential.

It was the reboot of the New Teen Titans that really grabbed me though. Perez managed to take this comic of teen heroes and turn it into one of the hottest comics of the 80's (at one short time actually outselling the X-Men).

So many things happened here that had huge effects on the DC Universe: The introduction of Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven. Robin became Nightwing in these very pages. Kid Flash spent his final years as such before taking on the mantle of the Flash. Deathstroke was introduced here as well. The infamous "Judas Contract" storyline where Terra turned on her teammates still resonates throughout the DC storylines (a couple of months ago, Terra's brother Geo-Force finally faced down Deathstroke and almost killed him). There were entire issues that had them never go in costume, but still kept us riveted to the pages with the underlying emotional themes.

I don't usually spend the big money on DC's Archive Editions ($50 for 8 issues of a comic are steep), but I have been following the New Teen Titans reprints simply because they are such great stories. The X-Men may have ruled the 80's, but the Titans were the team I followed.

2. Spinner racks

Wow, this seems like a little thing, but I remember running into the local Magik Market and seeing that metal rack just waiting for me to go through it. I had no thoughts of the future of the books, so I'd just bend them down to see what issues were waiting behind, never thinking about how that precious issue I'd just creased would lose so much value. That squeaky sound it made as you turned it around, fighting other kids so you could look at what you wanted to without having to wait for them...those were good times.

3. Loose change could actually buy two books or more!

I remember when the price of a comic book actually used to have the "cents" sign after it. You could walk in with a quarter and come out with a book. And when you got a dollar for helping around the house, you were walking out of the store a happy, happy little boy!

Now you don't need to bother walking into the comic book shop without a twenty in hand to come away with a couple of books. Yes, I know the paper stock is much better, and the colors hold up longer, and the dollar doesn't go as far today...but isn't $4 a little expensive for just a regular comic book?

4. Giant Treasury Edition Comics!

Oh, they were usually reprints, but they were HUGE (13" X 15")! And they were so much fun to grab and read!

Call them unnecessary eye candy if you want to, but when I was a kid I bought every one of these I saw. Even today I try to collect them as I can (the one you see pictured to the left is my latest acquisition and is currently framed in my home office...I'm a Galactus fan).

Every once in a while we'd get an original story in one of these, and it was big-time! The first major publisher crossovers occurred in this format, and this was a time when it was okay to hand over a couple of dollars for a (giant) comic book!

5. Team-Up Books

All but gone today (the only exception being the recent return of "Brave and the Bold"), team-up books used to be hot. This was where you'd see a major star like Spider-Man, Superman, or even The Thing teaming up with some lesser-known hero who would get a chance to shine for one issue.

Though they've tried to bring these back over the years, it doesn't seem to be something that sticks anymore. Perhaps it's because a team-up isn't that unusual anymore, with heroes popping up in other books almost every month. Practically any issue you pick up is a "team-up book".

Still, for a time these were special moments. You wouldn't usually see Batman and Deadman team up, or Spider-Man and Captain Britain, or the Thing and Giant-Man...and that's why these were stories we kept buying each month. It was the unique teamwork that made them interesting to read.

Brave and the Bold was jump-started again a while back and it's doing a good job of offering some interesting combinations (Green Arrow and Deadman, Green Lantern and Phantom Stranger, etc). Maybe they'll be able to recapture the spark that makes these stories must-reads.

For a great blog that covers every aspect of team-up books of the past, check out Rick's Mail It To Team-Up blog!

6. That weird way they dated the comics on the cover

Oh it might say "April" on the cover, but you were picking that comic up in January or February. It was like getting your hands on the future!

There was always that weird thought of "did I miss an issue or something?", and eventually you stopped even trying to keep up with why things were so out of whack with the current month. I don't think any explanation was ever given for that little time anomaly, but it was something we just accepted as normal for any comic we bought.

Eventually they fixed all this, as today we can see the proper month in any comic we pick up...but this was a fun little quirk that added to the experience.

7. Superheroes selling sweets!

The next to last page in any comic book was always one of my favorites because you'd find your favorite heroes involved in stopping some diabolical plot in 10 panels or less! No matter how detailed the storyline you were following, this was a self-contained story that made sense...and made you hungry!

Fresh off his tour of trying to destroy the country, villains like the Red Skull, Doctor Doom, and even Lex Luthor decided to sell out and go for the Twinkies and Hostess Cup Cakes. Forget world domination...bring me sugar!

They never succeeded, but that didn't stop them from trying. No matter what horrible thing they were planning on doing to the poor, helpless kids out there, some conveniently-timed intervention by a Hostess snack cake would always save the day!

You'd better believe I loved to eat those cupcakes when I saw them in the store...and I always felt like I was doing a little something to help out Spider-Man the next time he faced The Hungry Gobbler!

Of course, today we understand from government intervention that sugar is bad for you and therefore should not be allowed in any cereal or even in comic book ads, but back in the day it was shameless promotion that we loved.

So that's it, my trip down memory lane is complete for this week. What major memories of yours did I miss?